Tuesday 11 January 2011

11 sleeps...

Slight feeling of deja-vu today. Our (fantastic) paediatrician at Airedale arranged for us to get an appointment with a consultant at LGI to discuss SDR in more detail. So, I found myself driving to a hospital in Leeds for the appointment and, as I passed certain landmarks, I realised that the last time(s) I did this was nearly 7 years ago. Every day for nearly 6 weeks I visited Loup in Jimmy's and we went through the same daily routine that we had built up. A routine we had built up to distract from the real reason we were there. I helped Loup get in and out of the shower, change of clothes, bit of a chat, watch telly, i'd get her tea and then I had to leave. All the time reminding her that everything would be ok. It was a strange time, full of feeling helpless and hopeless. However, once we left that behind we simply transferred our helplessness and hopelessness to everyday parenting.

I'll never forget those days, but it was weird today to realise that I had set aside so many of those memories but also how much things are pretty much the same today as back then. Still reassuring Loup that things will be ok, still feeling a bit helpless, still feeling a bit hopeless but still being sure that things will turn out fine again....

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